More on faith development

I cannot stress enough how much my identity was wrapped up in being a member of the Seventh-day Adventist church, although I experienced some tension in that identity. For example, in the classic are-you-an-Adventist-first-or-a-Christian-first discussion, I was always a Christian first. I didn't agree with all church doctrines and historical interpretations, and as an adult I read EGW rarely. But I could not imagine myself outside of the Adventist church (Christian or not), and a great deal of what I shrank from was what other people would think.

When I look at the list of things that can lead to the breakdown of Stage Three faith, I am struck by all of the things in my experience that didn't directly contribute to it, including:

• Perceiving a clash between authorities
• Leaving home
• Attending university
• Traveling abroad
• Marriage

and one giant thing that did: knowledge from outside influences. All it took was a comment by an online friend (addressed to someone else) and a book.

I still feel as if I'm experiencing some of this:

For the first time, a student may entertain and investigate alternative views about the origin and history of life. For many, these new views will appear contradictory and seem to require an either/or choice. Faith struggles with the need for certainty as it slowly becomes a personal choice.

while simultaneously experiencing this:

Later in Stage Four, if growth continues, the logic of clear distinctions and abstract concepts steadily fails to make sense of the more complex adult world, and one feels the need to press toward a more multi-leveled approach to life. Influences from science, philosophy, and certain theologies may suggest not only different ways of putting the puzzle of religion and science together, but also alternative ways of constructing one's identity that do not require a neat fit.

Fowler's research suggests that people spend from five to fifteen years in Stage Four faith (if one can even call what I have faith; I don't). I might as well get comfortable.